The challenge of the patterned leggings ...

Last week in my yoga class, the challenge was to wear something that we felt uncomfortable in, but that we would like to be able to wear.  As 'Jambo Yoga' creates such an accepting environment, it went without saying that whatever we wore would be accepted, and so it would be a safe place in which to experiment.

For a lot of my life, I felt very self-conscious of my legs. Prior to starting to practice Forrest Yoga with 'Jambo Yoga', I would never wear leggings without hiding the tops of my legs under long, baggy tops.  Before long though, I found myself feeling comfortable enough to wear shorter, tight fitting vests without feeling self conscious.  I still though wore only dark, plain colours.  In no way did I want to draw attention to my legs.

A while back, I'd told myself, that I would know I'd taken a huge step forward in my self-confidence and body acceptance when I felt comfortable enough to wear patterned leggings. Lots of yogis wear them, so I wouldn't be out of place, but I knew I had to feel comfortable enough in myself before I'd feel able to.

So when last week's challenge was set, I knew straight away that I had to challenge myself and wear patterned leggings!  I didn't have any, but as I was so determined to push my boundaries, I went out and bought some.  I even bought two pairs so that I'd had enough to wear to each of my classes last week.

Before I went to my first class last Monday, I felt slightly uncomfortable.  Not too self-conscious, but very aware of my legs! It didn't change my practice in any way though.  I didn't feel self conscious during the class.  Occasionally, when I looked down at my legs I got a bit of a surprise to see them in brightly patterned leggings ... but I felt good! I liked how my legs looked in their pink patterns!

A couple of us commented to each other about the personal challenges we were engaging in and the fact that if we hadn't told each other what our 'uncomfortable garments were' we wouldn't have known!  No one looked odd.  No one looked out of place.  Everyone was wearing 'normal' clothes.  And that just made me think about the self-consciousness and discomfort we feel in 'real' life ... & the fact that no one else is aware of it.  It truly is a personal thing!


I wore a different pair of patterned leggings at class on Thursday.  And someone commented this time they liked them!  They had no idea they were part of the challenge!  And even though I was having a conversation about my leggings, & hence my legs, I still felt comfortable and okay about myself.  And my legs!

On Friday, I wore the first pair of leggings again.  But this time, I'd realised that in each of the previous classes, I'd worn a black vest.  Still trying to hide away in some small way!  And so for this class, I decided to push myself that little bit more & so I chose to weat a bright pink vest!  I felt extremely visible!  More so than I had in the previous two classes!  I just felt that with the patterned leggings & the bright pink vest, there was no hiding.  I was out there in the world.  I could be seen!

And again, I received only a compliment!  And once I started my practice, all thoughts of self-conscious visibility vanished!  

Last week's challenge was a really good one for me.  And I really enjoyed it.  It was made relatively easy as I knew many other people were challenging themselves in the same way and so it was a shared experience.  The fact that it was set as a challenge too, was also very permission giving for me.  And because the challenge had been set, the 'good obedient little girl' in me had to do it!  And I did it!

The real challenge for me though, will be if I carry on wearing the leggings now the challenge is over.  If I continue to wear them just because I want to!  Just because I like seeing my legs in brightly patterned leggings!

And then the next step comes in carrying the challenge outside of the yoga class & into 'real' life ... can I always be brave enough to wear whatever I want outside of class?

Only time will tell ...

But for me right now, posting images of my legs on here is another declaration of body acceptance!  My journey towards body acceptance has been a long one, and yoga really has been one of the most significant elements in that journey ... 

As told to the Sunday Sun newspaper ...

As a build up to the North East Skinny Dip 2013, I was interviewed by a reporter from local North East paper, the 'Sunday Sun.'  The article appeared in yesterday's paper (see photos below) ... this is the article as written by the reporter, Brian Daniel and printed in the Sunday Sun, 22nd September 2013.


"A NORTH woman will today notch up an important milestone in her recovery from eating disorders when she gets her kit off at a mass skinny dip.

Sharon Cox, 40, from North Shields, is taking part in the North East Skinny Dip 2013 at Druridge Bay Country Park in Northumberland.

The event, successfully held for the first time in 2012 and arranged to coincide with the autumn equinox, will see hundreds of men and women bare all and take a sunrise dip in the cold North Sea.

Participants will be raising money for the Mind mental health charity as well as event supporters, the National Trust, and could play their part in breaking the world record for the world's biggest skinny dip.

But for Sharon, [of North Shields], the event will be a key moment in her life - world record or not.

At the age of 15 she developed anorexia, a disorder she suffered from until she was 17.

"I probably got down to around 7 stone which, probably for my height at that age, was about two stone underweight."

Sharon then began to suffer from bulimia, a disorder which would plague her until she reached 30.

"Some periods I would be bingeing and vomitting quite often."

Sharon's weight would vary from to to 11-and-a-half stone.

In 1999, at the age of 27, Sharon began training to be become a counsellor, having attended counselling for her bulimia.

She eventually opened her own private practice, helping people principally with eating disorders and working at GP surgeries with those suffering from other mental health problems.

For the last six years, she has been studying a PhD at York St John University part time on the therapist's experiences of working with people with eating disorders.

The counsellor training and practice and the work she has done for the PhD, have helped Sharon - a steady 10 stone for the last few years - put her disorders behind her.

And today, enjoying life and her body unlike so many years when she did not, she will get her kit off at the skinny dip, the first time she - like most of us - will have done such a thing in public.

She said, "In the last 10 years I have not felt especially confident in my body.

It is only through my PhD that I have found a way to accept my own body and to feel that sense of body acceptance which allow me to do the skinny dip.

I would never have dreamed of doing it even a couple of years ago!

This is the pinnacle both of recovery and of my PhD - it feels a real high point in both of those."

Sharon is dreading feelings the icy water against her skin though, saying, "I am more worried about the cold than the nakedness!"

She is hoping to raise hundreds of pounds for Mind."

I still aim to find the time to write in more detail about my journey from eating disorders to skinny dipping ...

Oddly normal; My 'skinny dipping in the North Sea' experience ...

The weather couldn't have been more perfect; a lovely warm September morning with clear sky out to sea affording a stunning view of the sun appearing over the horizon.   Alongside 200+ other ‘skinny dippers,’ my good friend and I stripped off our clothes, took hold of each others’ hand and ran into the North Sea …

And it turned out to be everything I’d hoped for. 

Standing around, fully clothed, waiting for the dip to happen, I was interested to know what had brought everyone to the point of baring all in public.  I knew I had my own journey which had led me there; I’m sure others had their own.  For some, like myself, it was maybe a significant milestone, others were maybe doing it in memory of loved ones, for others it was maybe simply a challenge.  Being naked in front of other people can be a scary thing to do and running into the cold North Sea in itself is a challenge!

I’d expected to feel extremely self-conscious, but that proved not to be the case.  Yes, I experienced a moment of this when the organiser told us it was time to take our clothes off, but I just took a deep breath & went for it.  Everyone else was doing the same after all! 

Holding my friend’s hand, we just ran towards the sea & the rising sun.  I found it very liberating to run naked across the sand amongst other people in the same state of (un)dress.   I guess that because everyone was there for the same experience, there was a sense of complete acceptance.  Another friend of mine described experiencing it as ‘oddly normal,’ and for me that perfectly summed it up.  No one was there to judge other peoples’ bodies, to compare, criticise, admire or ridicule.  No one was ogling anyone.  Everyone just appeared to be there for their own adventure and to share in the group experience. 

I found it surprisingly easy to run across the sand, and much as I’d been scarily anticipating the cold North Sea, it didn’t appear to be as cold as I’d expected.  I don’t know if this was because the sea wasn’t too cold this morning, or if it was the state of mind I was in, perhaps the adrenalin which would have been flowing through my body?  Or maybe, it was something to do with sharing such an amazing experience with so many other people?

It did feel colder as we walked out deeper and deeper … out to almost-chest height.  And my legs began to feel cold, before becoming numb!  But it also felt invigorating.  It was wonderful to look around and see so many people out in the sea against the beautiful backdrop of the rising sun.  That’s an image I’ll never forget.  And nor do I want to.

And then when we’d had enough, we turned round and headed back to the beach.  Any self-consciousness had completely left me and I felt comfortable and relaxed walking out of the sea in my bare body.

I’d expected to be shivering and uncomfortably cold, and had consequently went prepared with lots of warm clothes and hot water to drink … even a foil blanket!!  But it turned out I didn’t need them.  I simply dried myself off with my towel, and stepped back into my clothes …

Druridge Bay, just before the sun rose over the horizon ...

Seeing other peoples’ naked bodies in such an environment felt very natural and liberating.  I found myself simply noticing those other bodies; male and female.  There were all ages, all shapes and sizes … & every body was perfect.  Simply because every body there was enabling the individual to participate in a truly authentic experience and challenge. 

It wasn't even a ‘celebration’ of bodies, more of a sense of acceptance.  We’re all human.  We all have bodies.  We’re all different and unique … and that’s okay.

I find it sad that in our culture, bodies have become objects to be ashamed of, objects which need to be manipulated through diet and exercise to look a particular way, objects which need to be dressed a certain way, etc.  There’s often a sense of shame attached to nakedness, which I also find sad.  Why should we be ashamed of our bodies, of our natural selves.   We’re all born into the world, fully accepting of our bodies, luxuriating in and fully connected to our bodily experiences, and over time, we learn to be ashamed.  We learn to disconnect, we learn to hide … and we consequently disconnect from our full experience of life and living.

 Someone, when I told them I was doing the Skinny Dip commented about its being ‘rude’ and ‘naughty.’  I found this sad too.  There’s nothing rude or naughty about naked bodies.  Our culture has sexualised bodies to an almost pathological state.  Yes, bodies are sexual and are enjoyed sexually, in appropriate arenas and that should be celebrated.  But our society seems to promote the body as a sexual object too readily.

Our bodies are nothing more, or less, than the container which houses our Selves.  Our bodies are what allow us to experience life and living.  Our bodies allow us to touch, to taste, to smell, to hear, to see.  Our bodies are from where we experience our Selves and our life.


I will write more later about my journey to partaking in this event ...