For a lot of my life, I felt very self-conscious of my legs. Prior to starting to practice Forrest Yoga with 'Jambo Yoga', I would never wear leggings without hiding the tops of my legs under long, baggy tops. Before long though, I found myself feeling comfortable enough to wear shorter, tight fitting vests without feeling self conscious. I still though wore only dark, plain colours. In no way did I want to draw attention to my legs.A while back, I'd told myself, that I would know I'd taken a huge step forward in my self-confidence and body acceptance when I felt comfortable enough to wear patterned leggings. Lots of yogis wear them, so I wouldn't be out of place, but I knew I had to feel comfortable enough in myself before I'd feel able to.
So when last week's challenge was set, I knew straight away that I had to challenge myself and wear patterned leggings! I didn't have any, but as I was so determined to push my boundaries, I went out and bought some. I even bought two pairs so that I'd had enough to wear to each of my classes last week.
A couple of us commented to each other about the personal challenges we were engaging in and the fact that if we hadn't told each other what our 'uncomfortable garments were' we wouldn't have known! No one looked odd. No one looked out of place. Everyone was wearing 'normal' clothes. And that just made me think about the self-consciousness and discomfort we feel in 'real' life ... & the fact that no one else is aware of it. It truly is a personal thing!
I wore a different pair of patterned leggings at class on Thursday. And someone commented this time they liked them! They had no idea they were part of the challenge! And even though I was having a conversation about my leggings, & hence my legs, I still felt comfortable and okay about myself. And my legs!
On Friday, I wore the first pair of leggings again. But this time, I'd realised that in each of the previous classes, I'd worn a black vest. Still trying to hide away in some small way! And so for this class, I decided to push myself that little bit more & so I chose to weat a bright pink vest! I felt extremely visible! More so than I had in the previous two classes! I just felt that with the patterned leggings & the bright pink vest, there was no hiding. I was out there in the world. I could be seen!
And again, I received only a compliment! And once I started my practice, all thoughts of self-conscious visibility vanished!
Last week's challenge was a really good one for me. And I really enjoyed it. It was made relatively easy as I knew many other people were challenging themselves in the same way and so it was a shared experience. The fact that it was set as a challenge too, was also very permission giving for me. And because the challenge had been set, the 'good obedient little girl' in me had to do it! And I did it!
The real challenge for me though, will be if I carry on wearing the leggings now the challenge is over. If I continue to wear them just because I want to! Just because I like seeing my legs in brightly patterned leggings!
And then the next step comes in carrying the challenge outside of the yoga class & into 'real' life ... can I always be brave enough to wear whatever I want outside of class?
Only time will tell ...
But for me right now, posting images of my legs on here is another declaration of body acceptance! My journey towards body acceptance has been a long one, and yoga really has been one of the most significant elements in that journey ...
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