As told to the Sunday Sun newspaper ...

As a build up to the North East Skinny Dip 2013, I was interviewed by a reporter from local North East paper, the 'Sunday Sun.'  The article appeared in yesterday's paper (see photos below) ... this is the article as written by the reporter, Brian Daniel and printed in the Sunday Sun, 22nd September 2013.


"A NORTH woman will today notch up an important milestone in her recovery from eating disorders when she gets her kit off at a mass skinny dip.

Sharon Cox, 40, from North Shields, is taking part in the North East Skinny Dip 2013 at Druridge Bay Country Park in Northumberland.

The event, successfully held for the first time in 2012 and arranged to coincide with the autumn equinox, will see hundreds of men and women bare all and take a sunrise dip in the cold North Sea.

Participants will be raising money for the Mind mental health charity as well as event supporters, the National Trust, and could play their part in breaking the world record for the world's biggest skinny dip.

But for Sharon, [of North Shields], the event will be a key moment in her life - world record or not.

At the age of 15 she developed anorexia, a disorder she suffered from until she was 17.

"I probably got down to around 7 stone which, probably for my height at that age, was about two stone underweight."

Sharon then began to suffer from bulimia, a disorder which would plague her until she reached 30.

"Some periods I would be bingeing and vomitting quite often."

Sharon's weight would vary from to to 11-and-a-half stone.

In 1999, at the age of 27, Sharon began training to be become a counsellor, having attended counselling for her bulimia.

She eventually opened her own private practice, helping people principally with eating disorders and working at GP surgeries with those suffering from other mental health problems.

For the last six years, she has been studying a PhD at York St John University part time on the therapist's experiences of working with people with eating disorders.

The counsellor training and practice and the work she has done for the PhD, have helped Sharon - a steady 10 stone for the last few years - put her disorders behind her.

And today, enjoying life and her body unlike so many years when she did not, she will get her kit off at the skinny dip, the first time she - like most of us - will have done such a thing in public.

She said, "In the last 10 years I have not felt especially confident in my body.

It is only through my PhD that I have found a way to accept my own body and to feel that sense of body acceptance which allow me to do the skinny dip.

I would never have dreamed of doing it even a couple of years ago!

This is the pinnacle both of recovery and of my PhD - it feels a real high point in both of those."

Sharon is dreading feelings the icy water against her skin though, saying, "I am more worried about the cold than the nakedness!"

She is hoping to raise hundreds of pounds for Mind."

I still aim to find the time to write in more detail about my journey from eating disorders to skinny dipping ...

Oddly normal; My 'skinny dipping in the North Sea' experience ...

The weather couldn't have been more perfect; a lovely warm September morning with clear sky out to sea affording a stunning view of the sun appearing over the horizon.   Alongside 200+ other ‘skinny dippers,’ my good friend and I stripped off our clothes, took hold of each others’ hand and ran into the North Sea …

And it turned out to be everything I’d hoped for. 

Standing around, fully clothed, waiting for the dip to happen, I was interested to know what had brought everyone to the point of baring all in public.  I knew I had my own journey which had led me there; I’m sure others had their own.  For some, like myself, it was maybe a significant milestone, others were maybe doing it in memory of loved ones, for others it was maybe simply a challenge.  Being naked in front of other people can be a scary thing to do and running into the cold North Sea in itself is a challenge!

I’d expected to feel extremely self-conscious, but that proved not to be the case.  Yes, I experienced a moment of this when the organiser told us it was time to take our clothes off, but I just took a deep breath & went for it.  Everyone else was doing the same after all! 

Holding my friend’s hand, we just ran towards the sea & the rising sun.  I found it very liberating to run naked across the sand amongst other people in the same state of (un)dress.   I guess that because everyone was there for the same experience, there was a sense of complete acceptance.  Another friend of mine described experiencing it as ‘oddly normal,’ and for me that perfectly summed it up.  No one was there to judge other peoples’ bodies, to compare, criticise, admire or ridicule.  No one was ogling anyone.  Everyone just appeared to be there for their own adventure and to share in the group experience. 

I found it surprisingly easy to run across the sand, and much as I’d been scarily anticipating the cold North Sea, it didn’t appear to be as cold as I’d expected.  I don’t know if this was because the sea wasn’t too cold this morning, or if it was the state of mind I was in, perhaps the adrenalin which would have been flowing through my body?  Or maybe, it was something to do with sharing such an amazing experience with so many other people?

It did feel colder as we walked out deeper and deeper … out to almost-chest height.  And my legs began to feel cold, before becoming numb!  But it also felt invigorating.  It was wonderful to look around and see so many people out in the sea against the beautiful backdrop of the rising sun.  That’s an image I’ll never forget.  And nor do I want to.

And then when we’d had enough, we turned round and headed back to the beach.  Any self-consciousness had completely left me and I felt comfortable and relaxed walking out of the sea in my bare body.

I’d expected to be shivering and uncomfortably cold, and had consequently went prepared with lots of warm clothes and hot water to drink … even a foil blanket!!  But it turned out I didn’t need them.  I simply dried myself off with my towel, and stepped back into my clothes …

Druridge Bay, just before the sun rose over the horizon ...

Seeing other peoples’ naked bodies in such an environment felt very natural and liberating.  I found myself simply noticing those other bodies; male and female.  There were all ages, all shapes and sizes … & every body was perfect.  Simply because every body there was enabling the individual to participate in a truly authentic experience and challenge. 

It wasn't even a ‘celebration’ of bodies, more of a sense of acceptance.  We’re all human.  We all have bodies.  We’re all different and unique … and that’s okay.

I find it sad that in our culture, bodies have become objects to be ashamed of, objects which need to be manipulated through diet and exercise to look a particular way, objects which need to be dressed a certain way, etc.  There’s often a sense of shame attached to nakedness, which I also find sad.  Why should we be ashamed of our bodies, of our natural selves.   We’re all born into the world, fully accepting of our bodies, luxuriating in and fully connected to our bodily experiences, and over time, we learn to be ashamed.  We learn to disconnect, we learn to hide … and we consequently disconnect from our full experience of life and living.

 Someone, when I told them I was doing the Skinny Dip commented about its being ‘rude’ and ‘naughty.’  I found this sad too.  There’s nothing rude or naughty about naked bodies.  Our culture has sexualised bodies to an almost pathological state.  Yes, bodies are sexual and are enjoyed sexually, in appropriate arenas and that should be celebrated.  But our society seems to promote the body as a sexual object too readily.

Our bodies are nothing more, or less, than the container which houses our Selves.  Our bodies are what allow us to experience life and living.  Our bodies allow us to touch, to taste, to smell, to hear, to see.  Our bodies are from where we experience our Selves and our life.


I will write more later about my journey to partaking in this event ...

Skinny Dipping in the North Sea at Sun Rise ...

On Sunday at sunrise, I will be running

naked into the North Sea … !?   Sunday 22nd September marks the Autumn Equinox and I will be running towards the sun in celebration of this and of my body ...

I won’t be alone; I’ll be joining potentially hundreds of other people at an event supported by the National Trust and the Mental Health Charity, MIND.   

It's not too late to sign up & join in ... !?!   If you'd like to find out more information about the Skinny Dip, please check out the 'North East Skinny Dip 2013' link here ...

For me, this event is both a personal challenge and also a way of raising awareness of body acceptance and challenging the cultural attitudes of bodies as objects which should look good.  And as the organisers state; “This event isn’t about looking good; It’s about taking a risk, celebrating our unique bodies & being close to nature , raising money for charity and even maybe breaking a world record!”

It comes 5 years into my PhD journey, which has also been personally challenging and academically enlightening.  Researching eating disorders, I've concluded how important our embodied experience is ... not just for those with eating disorders, but for everyone.  To live fully and experience life and ourselves completely, we need to have a congruent and accepting relationship with our own bodies.

As someone with a past history of eating disorders myself, who has consequently experienced a troubled relationship with my own body, this feels like the apex of my own journey towards bodily and self acceptance ... & for those who know me, the challenge of running into the icy North Sea at a September sunrise is a huge one too …

I'll be writing more about the thoughts that led to me accepting this challenge later today ... before sharing my experience of actually achieving it on Sunday ...

From the Captain's seat ...

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been feeling a little bit unsettled.  I knew I had 2 weeks' annual leave coming up, during which I'm planning to concentrate on writing some of my PhD thesis draft.  A big task in itself.  I know, that for myself, my environment is very important to my psychological well-being.  I remember working in a workplace a number of years back and from the moment I stepped out of my car on my first morning there, I felt out of place.  It felt so wrong.  I felt so uncomfortable and I just couldn't settle into the job ... I lasted there for 4 months!

As I know how important the 'right' environment is, I aim to create a safe, comfortable space within my counselling room for clients.  I think I manage to achieve this ... I certainly get a lot of feedback from clients about the 'warmth,' 'safety,' and 'comfort' they experience within that room.

I also use my counselling room as my study.  The room does have a nice, warmth about it and I enjoy sitting in there.  

But last Friday afternoon, I decided I needed a change, and I decided to rearrange my therapy room / study. It was interesting to plan how to best do it.  I obviously had to think about the practicalities of fitting the furniture in to a different arrangement.  But I also had to bear in mind both my needs ... as a counsellor and for my writing / studying ... and also my clients'.

I think I've managed that!  Or at least I hope I have.  It works for me, I'll be interested to see how clients react to it; especially those who have worked with me in the room as it was.  I appreciate that change can be unsettling; I just hope that the changes I've made in this room aren't unsettling for my clients.

The biggest thing for me personally, was moving my desk.  For the last 6 years or so, it's been at the side of the room, facing a wall.  So as I've worked, I've spent a lot of time gazing at a wall.

My desk is now in front of the window.  And as I sit at my desk, I'm looking out of the window.  I don't have the best view in the world, but being able to just see outside is making such a big difference to how I feel sitting at my desk.  Even as I concentrate on the words appearing on the screen in front of me as I type this, my peripheral vision is still picking up the outside world.  

And that feels so much more free.  I didn't realise I felt so trapped, contained and restricted when I was gazing at a wall.  

I had a very strong sense a little earlier, sitting here of feeling 'ready to face the world' and take on whatever comes my way.  And I am now, quite literally, facing the world through my window.  I also had a sense of 'being upfront,' of 'driving my own bus,' 'flying my own plane' ...  

I could even feel 'the others' behind me!?  Now, I have no idea of who these 'others' are, but I think that for me, the metaphor is about taking complete responsibility for me and my life ... or right now; me and my PhD and everything I've learned on my journey.  Up until now, the research has led me ... it's been the one in the driving seat.

The balance has shifted now.  I'm now in the driving seat and I'm ready to take everything I've learned forward!  And I do have ideas as to what I'd like to do next.  Those things probably can't happen until after my PhD, but they're in my head, germinating ...

From the Captain's seat, it's up to me which direction I go in; I'm ready to fly ...

Exactly where I need to be ...

Whenever I see this, or a similar advert in my monthly edition of BACP's 'Therapy Today' magazine I can't help smiling ...

Back in January 2008, I went into my annual appraisal with my current copy of 'Therapy Today' opened at a full page advert from York St John University. I intended to ask my manager for funding & leave to attend this one day workshop ...

My manager granted me permission & I attended York St John University for the first time to participate in Peter Jenkins' workshop. As I had expected would happen.

What I didn't expect was my manager spotting an advert further up the page for  prospective students on a Counselling Studies PhD.

He told me he'd always wanted to fund someone to do a PhD & did I fancy doing it?! As I've always loved learning & personal / professional development I jumped at the chance & instantly agreed; having no idea what I was jumping into at that time.

We discussed a topic relevant to my workplace ... I applied ... & was successful!  

And in October 2008, I took a big step into the unknown ...

Much of my first year was taken up with learning just what a PhD involved, teaching myself research methodologies and the underpinning philosophies of knowledge. I loved what I was doing.

But then, in May 2009 (just after I'd learned my cat, Scrumpy, has terminal cancer), changes at work meant my funding and study leave were stopped; stolen away from under me.

I had 2 choices: leave the PhD or continue with and self fund. I felt in a quandary. I didn't really want to walk away from it just when my appetite for philosophical thinking & knowledge development / creation had been whetted. But nor did I want to self fund a research study which would ultimately benefit my employer more than me.

After discussion with my university supervisors, I decided to remain on the course but change my research question. Eight months into a part time PhD was still early enough to do that.

And that's how I came to be researching the topic I am. 

Although it was disappointing & painful when my funding was pulled, I see now that it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

I was able to refocus my research into a subject area I was genuinely interested in. One which really comes from my heart & stimulates me at a deep intellectual, emotional and spiritual level. And it's now mine; mine to do with what I want, in a way in which a study I'd done for an employer could never have been.

I'm really grateful to my then-manager for suggesting a PhD to me; the thought of doing a PhD hadn't even entered my head before then! And I'm grateful too, to the manager who pulled my funding & caused me to regroup my thinking into a topic I passionately believe in. 

And now, as I embark on writing up my research and am seeing possibilities of where I might take my research next, I see how a bizarre set of circumstances, out of my control, have led me to where I am now. 

And where I am now, feels exactly where I need to be.

I very much believe in taking responsibility for one's own life, making conscious decisions about what one wants to do, and then taking active steps to work towards it.

However, circumstances like the ones above do make me wonder if 'fate' doesn't also play its part ...

Maintaining an ethical online presence ...

As a counsellor, I appreciate the importance of not sharing too much of myself and my life with my clients.  When clients come for counselling, it's vital that the therapy is about them and not about the therapist.  The counsellor engages with their whole Self at a deep level, so that the client experiences a powerful and healing human connection, but they don't talk about any of their personal lives.

We also try to ensure our therapy rooms give none of our personal lives away.  To ensure the neutrality of the therapy and so that the client can engage with us as a 'therapist' with no 'baggage' we keep ourselves our lives separate.

We're trained to only disclose personal information when it is deemed to be helpful for the client.  It's often a difficult line to balance though.   For myself, I aim to be fully me in the room with each and every client, which means that I respond to their words and bodies in a congruent way.  I voice my feelings, emotions, thoughts and images which arise in response to my clients, as and when they arise.  This ensures that human connection I mentioned above.  So, I'm fully me, but clients get to find out very little about who I am outside of the therapy room.

Or at least that was the case, until I started writing this blog.  And also my PhD.  And this is where the lines can become blurred.  I enjoy sharing my knowledge and experience ... especially if I think it might help someone, or might start a debate.  I also think that sharing information can be helpful for people to ensure that they don't feel completely alone in their personal pain.  It can be surprisingly comforting to know that you're not the only person in the world suffering.

I know that through the writings on this blog, I give more of myself away than I would in the therapy room.  Any disclosures made with the therapy room are focused and said specifically towards a particular client.  Writing on here, means I'm sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences with anyone who chooses to read them; and amongst that audience may be clients, past, present & future.  Is that entirely ethical?

I'm sure there'd be people who would say it wasn't.  I know that there are many therapists who refuse to engage in any kind of online presence.  And that's okay if that works for them and is congruent with their way of working.

For myself though, I believe that making myself a little more human makes me more real in the therapy room.  I'm careful to never give away any specific personal information and I sometimes disguise some of the facts to keep me, my loved ones and my clients safe.

We live in a time when the online world is becoming increasingly important and I believe that as therapists, we should be looking at ways to embrace this and use it in a beneficial way for ourselves and our clients, rather than simply dismissing it.  After all, isn't this how theory and practice develops and moves forward?

It's something I've given a lot of thought to throughout my PhD.  When I first starting researching it, I intended to leave my personal eating disordered experiences out of it.  But as I engaged more deeply with the literature etc, I realised that my personal experience was invaluable and should be brought into it.  It's helped my personal acceptance and understanding, and I know that my self-reflection has very positively influenced my thinking.  And I've followed this through into my practice. If clients ask, I tell them a little bit about my history.  It's there on my website and in this blog.  My openness hopefully helps take away some of the shame and stigma that's still experienced around eating disorders and other mental health issues.  It also seems to help clients to know that I've had that experience and so have my own understanding.

Again though, I don't disclose personal information; just enough to inform my clients of my understanding, experience, and also, to offer them the hope of recovery.

And I attached the above photo of Elsie my cat sitting in front of my computer because Elsie is a personal self disclosure.  But again, she's one that I have to disclose.  I need to let clients know of her presence incase they're allergic to cats.  And she's also sometimes visible or audible in my home!  And she has her own blog (museandmewsings.blogspot.co.uk), so I have to ensure that she remains aware of any ethical considerations.

I've also set up a Facebook page.  I've had a personal profile page for a few years now and enjoy using it.  I've struggled with how best to use it though as I've not wanted to blur the boundaries between my personal and professional lives.  I think I've finally found the balance.  My friends have, up until now, had to put up with my therapeutic ramblings and I've not shared them with anyone else.  But I've just set up a 'Therapy with Sharon' page where I'll post anything therapy, research, eating disorders related and that page is open to everybody.

It is difficult line to balance.  I'm not sure I always get it right; but I always try to ...

Conference presentations ...

I've been preparing a presentation for a Conference I'm going to on Tuesday; Mental Health and Young People; Promoting a Positive and Healthy Body Image."  It's been organised by the Public Policy Exchange
 (click here for more info Public Policy Exchange) as a follow up from an All Party Parliamentary Group on Body Image last year.

Central YMCA played a big role in this APPG Body Image group, and a colleague and myself became involved via the YMCA.  We developed and facilitated some workshops for Key Stages 1 & 2 pupils in primary schools.  We fed back our experiences to YMCA and they were included in the published report:  'Reflections on body image'.  More details can be found by visiting  www.ymca.co.uk/bodyimage/

This conference is a bit of a first for me.  I've presented at a number of conferences over the last 3 or 4 years as part of my PhD, but each of those has been one which I've had to apply to present at.  This is the first one for which I was approached by the organisers and invited to attend.  I'm sure it comes from the work I did last year as part of the APPG Body Image inquiry; but it's a privilege to be invited to present.

It feels like a recognition of my developing expertise and all of the research I've engaged in over the last few years.  And that feels good; especially as I head towards the end of my PhD.

It also got me thinking about just how many conferences and events I've presented at.  I used to be absolutely terrified of public speaking, and yet now, I gladly put myself forward for it.  I still feel some nerves, but I'm sure that's normal.  My research and what I'm learning from it, excites me so much, that I want to share it with others ... at conferences, and hopefully, eventually, in print.


This is the list of conferences I've attended & titles I've presented over the duration of my PhD to date ...

2010   BACP Research Conference, London
Poster Presentation: “The impact of working with eating disordered clients on the counsellor’s sense of self: a pilot study”

2010   VITAE Public Engagement Event, Newcastle Poster Presentation:  “Working with eating disordered clients: Might it eat away at the counsellor?”

2010   York St John University; Research Methodologies Conference
Paper:  “The evolution of a methodology: An exploration of counsellors’ embodied subjectivities when working with clients presenting with eating disorder symptomatology”

2010  Newcastle Counselling Association
Workshop Presentation:  “Dispelling fears: The importance of research in counselling”

2011   BACP Research Conference, Liverpool
Poster Presentation:  “Changing the researcher, changing the research:  The impact of  exploring the embodied subjectivities of counsellors working with clients with eating disorders”

2011   VITAE Public Engagement Event, Durham
Petcha Kucha Presentation:  “The effects on counsellors of working with clients who have eating disorders”

2011   York St John University; Research Methodologies Conference
Paper:  “Giving the researcher a voice: Autoethnography as a vehicle for reflexivity”

2011   NCCCTC Conference, Newcastle
Paper Presentation:  “Embodying change work and eating disorders”

2012   BACP Research Conference, Edinburgh
Paper:  “The embodied counsellor: Exploring the counsellor’s embodied subjectivity when working with clients presenting with eating distress”

2012   VITAE Public Engagement Event, York
Poster Presentation:  “How amazing is your body?!  From the counselling room to you … “

2012   Newcastle Counselling Association
Workshop Presentation: “The embodied counsellor: Reflections on the therapist’s body and relationship with food”

2013   York St John University Faculty of Life & Health Sciences; Faculty Research Seminar
Presentation:  “An exploration of the counsellor’s embodied subjectivity when working with clients presenting with eating disorder symptomatology: Methodological progression and key findings to date”

2013  Mental Health and Young People; Promoting a Positive and Healthy Body Image; A Public Policy Exchange Symposium, London
Paper Presentation: “Embodying change: An embodied approach to working with body image”