Just might be a fun, exciting & gratifying read ...

As I read the final sentence of the chapter in the book of my life called ‘2011,’ I paused for a while to reflect on everything I’d experienced and learned over the past twelve months.  It was an interesting chapter of my life, filled (over-filled at times!) with learning, discoveries and interesting clients.  During the chapter I became a qualified Practitioner of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and achieved a Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy.  Both of these training courses were fantastic experiences and I learned many more clinical skills as well as the ongoing personal development that therapeutic learning entails.  My thinking has changed in many ways, for the better, and in ways that will benefit both my clinical practice with clients and my personal life experience.   

Alongside these training courses, I continued to work on my PhD.  This also has broadened my knowledge of both my subject and my Self.  As a result of the research topic being born out of personal experience, a great deal of the academic literature that I’ve read has touched me, unexpectedly at times, at a deep personal level.  This process hasn’t always been an easy one as I’ve had to revisit painful experiences and feelings of my past, but ultimately, I knew that out of that pain would emerge deeper and clearer understandings of both my topic and myself.  And again, this enhances me on an academic level, a therapeutic level and the personal.

Reflecting on these learnings as I write this now is helping me realise just how much I did learn last year on all kinds of levels and how much I grew and developed during the journey I took during 2011.

Another important source of learning, this time on the personal level was a relationship with someone who didn’t stay in my life long, but who did make a big impression whilst they were there.  Definitely one of those people sent to me from which I had lessons to learn.  An intense relationship on many levels and one which made me question some of my personal beliefs and helped me recognise some of the things I need, and want, to have in my life. 

And I was lucky to have consistency throughout the entire chapter of unquestioned love and support from family and friends.  2011 brought a number of new people into my life, especially through my NLP and Hypnotherapy training and without a doubt, all of those people with who I shared some amazing experiences, have left their mark on me.  Their names are written in my book for always.

My counselling practice continued to grow steadily throughout the year and I was fortunate to experience my most successful year to date.  And I hope that that continues as I expand my therapy to include NLP and Hypnotherapy.  The seeds were also sewn for exciting new workshops around Body Image which I’m developing with a good friend and colleague.  We’re piloting these workshops in a number of schools later this month and I’m looking forward to where these workshops might just lead …

So all in all, the chapter called 2011 was a good one in my book.  It wasn’t always a comfortable or easy read but it was a very defining one, and it did have a good few pages of fun and laughter in it too!

So I’m left here on 1^st January 2012 beginning the early pages of this brand new chapter and looking forward with excited anticipation to meeting the people I’ve yet to meet and the experiences I’ve yet to have, the learnings I’ve yet to learn and the achievements I’ve yet to make.

From here, 2012 seems like it just might be a fun, exciting and gratifying read …

Playing in the Playground of My Mind

Appreciating where I am now,
Me, myself and I,
Playing in the playground of my mind.


The poem I posted earlier today has inspired the title of this blog … it feels like they’re both very much interlinked.

Over the last week or so, I’ve been very aware of the power of my unconscious. I’m realising how much of my learning and processing occurs at a level of which I’m not fully aware; a sense of ‘playing in the playground of my mind.’

After a training course last weekend around EFT and ‘tapping’ to release the emotions from memories and other events, I dreamt of myself engaging in a number of rounds of EFT. Three times through that night, I woke up, aware that I’d been ‘tapping’ in my sleep … I had no recollection of the memory or emotion I’d been ‘tapping’ on, but in my waking state, I knew I’d been working through something. Whether I’d been working on anything in particular, or whether I’d simply been processing my learning, I’ll possibly never know … but waking up three times tells me my unconscious was most definitely working through something; and definitely for my benefit.

The night before last I woke up through the night, again, ‘knowing’ that I’d been practising in my sleep, the NLP techniques I’ve been learning recently. Again, I had no recollection of exactly what I’d been doing, but I just ‘knew’ that I’d been practising and processing my recent learnings.

And then last night, I woke up at 4am with an ‘urge’ to write a poem (the poem in my previous blog). The words flowed easily and freely, beginning with the idea of playing in my playground in the sky. Originally, I wanted the poem to end with the title of this blog … ‘playing in the playground of my mind,’ but as I wrote it, that line no longer fit. And this blog entry feels like its resolution. I’ve not written any poetry or song lyrics for many, many years and so writing in that way felt like a reconnection to long lost parts of myself. And because the words flowed so readily and were available upon waking, I’m sure my unconscious had already started the process of composition as I slept.

And in the words of that poem was a very clear statement as to how I’m feeling right now … at a turning point in my life, both personally and professionally. No more head playing in the clouds, distanced, disconnected and disengaged, but a sense of integration, connection and groundedness in me, myself and my learnings.

Maybe it’s time we all learned to trust in the power of our unconscious and to set ourselves free to play in the playground of our minds….

What’s in a name? Counsellor ... Change Therapist?

I’ve called myself a “counsellor” now for 10 years, but recently, and following my current reflection on my practice and the wider range of reading I’ve been engaging in, I’m beginning to feel restricted and constrained by that ‘label.’ And “Change Therapist” is a name that keeps springing to mind when I think about the work that I do, and look forward to doing in the future.

As I wrote in my previous blog, I am first and foremost a Person-Centred Counsellor, and I still fully adhere to the underlying philosophy of person-centredness. However, as I continue to read other methods of facilitating change for clients, I’m increasingly realising that I no longer want to be restrained by sticking rigidly to the methods of Rogerian therapy.

For me, effective therapy is essentially about a therapist (of whatever persuasion) enabling and facilitating a change which the client wishes to bring about. A good starting point is to listen fully and deeply to the client in front of you to hear exactly where they’re starting from, and exactly where they wish to go to; if they have a final goal in mind. It’s about accepting the client for exactly who, and where they are, without any judgement or criticism. It’s also about listening carefully to the words the client uses to gain a deeper understanding for both yourself (as therapist) and the client of how that individual views, experiences, and lives in, the world … eg, what beliefs do they hold, what thought patterns are restricting them or working against them living as they wish to, how does that individual view the world and their sense of themselves within it? Observing the client’s body language and their way of expressing themselves in, and through, their body can also offer a wealth of information to the observant therapist.

And quite often, this process alone is enlightening for the client, who has maybe never stopped to consider their own world view and belief systems. Quite often, people are unaware of the ineffective beliefs they’re holding onto and living their life by. By uncovering these beliefs within the therapy room and gaining a deeper understanding of them and where they came from, some clients are able to challenge, and change or reject those beliefs, and replace them with more effective ones, allowing them to go on to lead more peaceful lives.

However, for some clients this process isn’t enough, or it would maybe take many weeks, months or even years. And I’m increasingly seeing the beneficence of being able to offer techniques, exercises and processes to clients to assist in their discovery and change. Personal growth and change is very often difficult and challenging for clients, and if I can ease clients through that process without doing them harm (non-maleficence), then surely that can only be for their good? And for me, any processes or techniques which I ‘choose’ to use with clients are still grounded in my person-centred way of being … by remaining with clients in their process and empathising with them, I find that the relevant process for that client at that particular time, makes itself known to me. I’m not consciously sifting through a filing cabinet in my mind of techniques to offer a client which would suggest my not being fully with the client. I remain fully in contact with the person sat with me, and their communication invites the appropriate process into my consciousness. I’ve worked like this for a long time now, offering clients the opportunity to use art materials, stones, visualisations, maybe offering some CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) exercises, and in the vast majority of cases, what I’ve offered the client has been willingly accepted and has proven beneficial for them at that time.

In the past, I was very sceptical of techniques such as those offered by NLP, and even Hypnosis, but at present I’m feeling increasingly excited and intrigued by what I’m learning they have to offer, both for myself as a therapist, and for my clients. I’ve spent a lot of time recently reading and talking about NLP and Hypnotherapy and especially their use of language (both verbal and body) and I’m recognising very close parallels with how I already work with my clients. I’m already employing a lot of ideas and theories from these two ‘schools,’ and as my training in them both develops throughout this year, I can envisage myself using more and more of their ideas, theories, techniques and processes … all with the aim of enabling change to happen for my clients … hence my term “Change Therapist.”

The Evolution of a (My) Counselling Philosophy

I'm currently reflecting on my therapeutic practice and my counselling philosophy. I describe myself first and foremost as a 'Person-Centred Counsellor' and much as my philosophy is very much based in Carl Rogers' original Client-Centred Therapy, I'm very aware that I'm not a purist Rogerian therapist.

As my confidence and experience has developed, I've integrated ideas, theories and practices from other schools of therapeutic thought including Gestalt, Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy, Psychodynamic, and more. My research over the last couple of years has also begun to lead me down paths of Body Psychotherapy and I’m increasingly aware of the role of the body and its communications within the therapy room. I’ve always been intrigued by body language, by client’s gestures and movements. And, as our bodies are how we present our Selves in the world, I believe their potential for communication and understanding is very often underestimated, or even ignored.

In my experience, which concurs with a recent conversation I had with a very experienced therapist, when we set out on our paths as counsellors / therapists we quite often tend to stick rigidly to the ideas and practices of our preferred school of therapy. However, as experience (and clients!) teach us, we learn how to integrate other practices and we each develop our own unique therapeutic philosophy and practice which works for us. What’s important for me is that as my understanding of human beings deepens, I am able to refine my understanding of how ‘problems,’ ‘symptoms’ and problematic coping mechanisms develop and are used, and from that I can develop an integrated therapeutic philosophy that is congruent with my personal belief system.

When I begin a counselling relationship, I very much approach the work from a Person-Centred perspective; following the client rather than directing them in any direction. I aim to understand the client's unique experience and I listen carefully to the words they use, reflecting them back, or challenging them. Quite often I find, when I question client's usage of particular words or ask them what they mean by a specific word, the client themselves isn't sure, or hasn't really stopped to think about the words they're using. I love words and language and my work with clients has taught me to never assume that I understand what my clients mean … I always question their interpretations of what I say to them and I always ask them what they mean by specific words they use. For example, in my work in GP surgeries, so many clients tell me they feel ‘depressed’, or the GP has diagnosed them with ‘depression’. I never I assume I know what they mean by that word or diagnosis … I always ask them what their experience and / or understanding of depression is. I see every client as a unique individual and I’m interested in hearing and understanding (as closely as I can) their unique, individual experience.

As our counselling relationship develops, I continue to follow, or walk alongside my client. I aim to remain empathic with them to understand their experience and I remain mostly non-directive. However, I’m also always mindful that as clients talk, their words often trigger theories, exercises and practices from different therapeutic schools, and it’s at this point, as the client’s words have suggested these things to me, that I bring other therapeutic practices into my work.

I've recently become intrigued by Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Hypnosis; and especially the language patterns used in each. In the past I've been very sceptical about NLP, but over the last few months, I've began reading more and more about the approach, its philosophy and structure, and I’ve been surprised to realise how much of its philosophy I’ve been able to integrate into my idea of person-centredness. Indeed, how much of it seems to overlap with the philosophy of Person-Centred Therapy.

I’m embarking on a training course tomorrow in NLP and am greatly looking forward to learning more. At this stage, I have no idea how, or even if I’ll be able to, integrate any of its practices into my current work, but I’m looking forward to finding out. My current feeling, from the reading I’ve recently been doing, is that NLP will deepen, or give another perspective to some of my current ideas and therapeutic beliefs. I’m open to them all being challenged and questioned….

At this stage in my therapy career and my own personal development journey, I’m very much looking forward to the coming year and seeing how, and where, my practice (and my Self) develops….