We all walk our own roads ...

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.

Just because they're not on your road does not mean they are lost."

Dalai Lama

I had cause earlier today to think about 'what is success?'  And for me, the above quote from the Dalai Lama  which I've just stumbled across this evening, fits very nicely ...

Success means different things for different people.  For some people, it's about earning a high salary, having a prestigious job or title, having a lot of expensive material possessions.  For these people, perhaps success stems from external factors ... from possessions and achieving a status in society.

For some people, it's simply getting through a day, especially those who are ill or depressed.  For those with more severe forms of depression, sometimes just getting out of bed, or getting washed is a huge achievement.

For other people, success is a much more personal, internal thing. Achieving an inner sense of peace, congruence or satisfaction, regardless of external circumstances.  It often comes from a sense of being true to one's own inner self, own personal morals and ethics.

And this is where I would put myself.  My own personal measure of my success stems from feeling that I am being true to myself.  And in my life, this means doing the work that I love (counselling, therapy and writing about these things and my eating disorders research).  And I feel very fortunate that I've found my 'vocation' in life and am able to follow it.  Yes, it means I've maybe not achieved the financial and material rewards I could have earned had I followed a different path, but I experience a true sense of congruence, knowing that I am spending my life doing what I love doing.  I am able to use my personal past experiences to take my work forward and help others ... giving both meaning and purpose to my earlier life and helping other people through that.

It can be hard sometimes to follow a different path from that expected for you or to turn your back on financial or status progression, in a world which values financial measures of worth.  I originally achieved a Business Studies Degree and Postgraduate Diploma in Marketing, but quickly realised that that field of work couldn't fulfill me personally.  I was lucky to 'stumble' in counselling training when I was 27, and I very quickly recognised that that was where my life lay.  I've since turned down management posts, knowing that for me, managing people, money, figures and things doesn't fulfill me.

My passion comes from learning about people and humanity and immersing myself in that.  And this is where I feel fulfilled and what allows me to still enjoy my work with clients 13 years after I first entered the counselling world.  And to still experience the genuine passion I feel to learn more and more ...

For me too, I think it's important to find a sense of inner satisfaction from within.  If a person relies completely on external factors for their sense of fulfillment, happiness, success etc., whether that be a partner, work, wealth, status and material possessions, it can be very difficult if those things are taken away.  Then, a person can be left feeling adrift.  Whereas, if we can find our own inner fulfillment and satisfaction, then no matter what the external circumstances, that inner peace, that inner congruence remains.

It seems too easy for people to judge others and to view them as less successful than themselves if they're living their life in different way.  For me, it's important to understand and accept a person's way of living ... as long as they're happy with it and no one else is being put at risk or compromised.

We all walk our own paths, and for me, the true measure of success is that an individual feels that they are living a life true to themselves, to their own inner beliefs ... no matter what that life looks like ...