Another tale to tell ...

Another book with its own tale to tell!

I've just received this book in the post this morning.  It was published in 1975.  It's still in excellent condition & its inner page has a stamp from, who I'm assuming to be, its previous owner ... Eric E Goranson, MD, from Portland, Oregon, USA.

I wonder if he was its only owner, or has it had many?  I wonder who Dr Goranson is, or was?  In holding what was once his book, I can 'sense' the ghosts of his eyes & fingers on the pages. 

My sense is of an older man, gentle and compassionate. An intelligent man who loved his work and his books ...

I could be completely wrong!  This image I've created could simply be my wishful thinking ... my own fantasy or phantasy (unconscious) image of the kind of man I want to think of having previously owned this book.

I can't imagine a time when I will ever get rid of my collection of therapy / eating disorders related books ... but I do wonder what will happen to them in the fullness of time when I'm no longer here to love them ...

Hopefully they can all rest assured that they have a loving home for a few decades yet ... 

The tales a book could tell ...

I received 4 'new' books in the post today that I'd ordered in relation to my research.  I never fail to feel excited when I buy or receive a 'new' book.  I can't wait to open the book and start reading it; to consume the knowledge, or stories, written in there.

My four 'new' books

I've highlighted the word 'new' because only one of the books I received was actually a new book.  The other 3 were used books.  Two of them had come from Connecticut Library; you can still see their library tickets on them.  These books were both written in the 1980's, but they're still well respected in the eating disorders literature field.  In the twenty-plus years of their lives, I wonder where they've been and who's read them?

If only those books could speak ... or write their own story ... I suspect they'd have a few interesting tales to tell.  Stories that have absolutely nothing to do with their subject matter but instead, the people who read them.  Or the people who took them out of the library, and never read them.  Whose houses have those books visited?  Whose bags have those books sat in? Whose essays and dissertations have those books played a part in?  Whose ideas, knowledge and thoughts have those books inspired? Whose hands have held those books?  ...

Endless questions.  Questions that I'd love to ask those books; but questions that I'll never receive answers to.  But wouldn't it be fascinating to know?!

Before I began my PhD research I very rarely bought second-hand books.  But due to the sheer volume of books available, the fact that many of them are now out-of-print and the cost of brand new books, I was 'forced' to begin buying pre-read books.  My whole outlook on them has changed since then.  I love second (maybe even, third, fourth, fifth, etc.) - hand books now!  I love thinking about their history and story.

I love receiving books which have annotations written in them.  It's fascinating to read other peoples' thoughts and ideas.  I feel privileged to read them sometimes.  It's like a little glimpse into someone else's thinking.  And it's  a privilege to share that little bit of intimacy ... even though I'll never know the person who thought it, and wrote it.  Even highlights and underlinings in books are fascinating; just to see what the previous reader thought important enough to highlight.

My own underlining & highlighting in a book only I have owned

Prior to my PhD, I never wrote in books.  Now, whenever I'm reading a book (non-fiction and especially related to my research or therapy), I always underline, highlight and annotate!  I can't read now without a pen in my hand!  It feels like a much more engaged way of reading and assimilating the knowledge.  Reading becomes more like a conversation between myself, the book and its author; and sometimes the previous readers.

I've read some really interesting annotations in some of the books I've got; and some of those have helped me develop my own thoughts and ideas.  Without those previous readers' thoughts, my own thinking might have taken a different turn, or I might have missed something.  Writing this, it makes me want to thank all of the previous readers and annotators; they've all, unknowingly, played a role in my thinking, development and research.

I wonder just how many previous readers there are who've owned, or just borrowed the books that now sit on my bookshelves.  The ghosts of hundreds (I suspect, bearing in mind how many books I have!!) of previous readers lingering and contributing to my thinking and writing ...

Sending a big, big thank you to you all; whoever and wherever you may be ...

A life can change in an instant ...

This post has been inspired by my recent burn injury to my hand.  Although it was a relatively minor injury, it's made me think about how quickly life can be changed.  And also how even losing full use of a small body part (even just on a temporary basis) can impact someone's life.

In less than a second, two of my fingers were quite severely burned.  My middle finger has now fully recovered (other than a red scar), but six weeks on, my index finger is still causing me pain and limiting some of the things I can do with my hand.  I'm also still visiting the hospital for regular physiotherapy to ensure the developing scar tissue doesn't restrict my finger's movement.

Hospital visits and physio exercises all take up time and emotional energy.  They can be extra things to fit into  an already busy life.  Not knowing how the injury is going to heal creates its own uncertainties.

Depending on the location or severity of the injury, scarring can be a real cause for concern for some people.  And some injuries can prove to be life changing as a result of scarring and any resulting injury.  I was thinking here mostly about physical injuries to external body parts.  But there's also head injury to consider.  A serious head injury can cause a person's personality or cognitive ability to change irrevocably.

I'm also mindful of internal injuries, which maybe aren't visible to other people, but can have a devastating impact on the quality of life of the person who has experienced it.  And sometimes, these injuries are most difficult for other people to comprehend.  It's easier to commiserate with someone who has a visible injury.

Most accidents occur in a split second.  And yet the consequences, of serious accidents, can last a life time.  They're things we don't plan for, and so are completely unprepared when they do happen.  We have to cope with the shock initially, as well as the physical pain.

I also think that sometimes, the emotional consequences of serious (and not so serious) injuries and illnesses get neglected or forgotten about.  Externally, the person may look well again, but maybe emotionally, they're still suffering.  Even if they're not fully healed or well, other people quite often tend to focus on the physical well-being and healing process.  And if this is going well, it's easy to assume that everything is okay.  But maybe the individual is still experiencing emotional pain, which isn't so easily seen.  Any physical trauma our bodies go through can affect our emotional well-being.

As a counsellor, I've always been mindful of checking out how the client I'm working with is experiencing their injury or illness.  I always recognise that it's important to enable them to share and explore their own experience to help them recognise the implications of it for them.

This is also an example of how I, as a counsellor, reflect on my own personal life experiences and consider what I can learn from them which might be of benefit for clients I work with.  Anything that happens to me, can potentially happen to someone else ... if not in the same way, then in a similar way.  Consequently, there's always something that I can learn from my own life and its experiences which will help others.  Reflecting on myself and my experiences allows me to develop my own self understanding, which I can then turn back out onto helping other people understand themselves better.

In this way, counselling is a very reflective and reflexive way of working and understanding oneself, others and the world; and helping others to understand themselves and their world.  And as I help my clients improve their self understanding, I take things away from each encounter to reflect upon, which further help me to understand myself, and my world ... and so the process continues ...

Our bodies are from where we experience our selves, our lives and the world, and so any injury or change to our body can have a huge impact on how we experience ourselves and how we live our lives ...