Welcome to 'Therapy & Other Things with Sharon'

Welcome to my first blog post on here!

I've been writing on 'Therapy, Thought & Learning' for the last 3 years or so, but due to my professional interests expanding as I head towards the end of my PhD, I'm thinking about where I head next ...

I'm currently developing a new website, 'Therapy (& other Things) with Sharon' which will go live very soon and I wanted to ensure that my website & blog can be easily connected.

I've imported my entries from 'Therapy, Thought & Learning' into here (see below / in the archive), so that I don't lose anything I've already written.  This blog will be a continuation of my writing from there as I continue to reflect on life, therapy, and embodied experiencing ...

It's not always easy for me to find time to write regular blog posts as I try to squash in completing my PhD, my private practice, working for the NHS, my musical interests (& my life!!) but I'm going to try to write more regularly ... & hopefully that will become easier in time!

I'll look forward to sharing more of my reflections with you ... & any comments you'd like to make about anything I write will be very, very welcome ...

Happy New Year 2013 ...

January 1^st 2013 and here I am sitting at my computer, listening to Curtis Stigers’ ‘Let’s Go Out Tonight,’ and gathering my thoughts and intentions for the coming year.

Myself and Curtis Stigers
Photo kindly taken by Matthew Fries,
Curtis' fabulous piano player
Bradford, April 2012

Curtis Stigers & his fabulous band, signing autographs
 on the concourse, The Sage, March 2012
John 'Scrapper' Schneider, Cliff Schmitt, Keith Hall,
Curtis Stigers & Matthew Fries

I'm very aware that across 2012 this blog drifted from its initial concept; but it seems that that was a reflection of my recent reconnection with my musical self. Music has always been a hugely important part of my life, but over recent years other things had taken priority; mostly my therapy trainings and PhD.  Back in March 2012, a very unexpected and exciting encounter at The Sage, Gateshead (thanks in part, to Curtis Stigers and his band!), opened me back up to my musical creativity and since then I’ve found myself being able to write songs again (the lyrics of some of which I’ve posted on here in previous entries), playing my guitar and piano much more and joining a choir. 

Countdown to flash mob Auld Lang Syne

I ended 2012 performing to an almost sell-out show in Hall One of The Sage, as part of a choir backing an Abba Tribute band; and I & started 2013 singing Auld Lang Syne as part of a 3-part-harmony flash mob performance with my choir.  It seemed like the perfect ending and beginning for me …

Party on The Sage concourse with the  James Taylor quartet

2013 feels like an important year for me, and one which I am looking forward to with excitement, hope, and apprehension; I turn 40 and I (hopefully!) complete my PhD.  I know it’s going to be a challenging, frustrating yet ultimately satisfying year if I am able to complete my thesis over these next 12 months.  To do this though, I need to be focused and organised.  My thesis hasto take priority across 2013, although I also need to ensure I have fun and freedom too!  And for me, the downtime is going to be filled with music.

I intend to commit to writing regularly on here again, and I suspect my entries will focus on my thesis progression, my continuously developing thoughts around it as me, my data and my computer become even more intimately connected! 

Elsie & I studying together

I also though, want to ensure that these entries reflect the musical progression in my life too … and who knows what 2013 has in store there!!

The piano playing cat

And of course, tangled in all of this will be Elsie, my cat, who turns up wherever and whatever I’m doing; studying, songwriting, & whatever else I happen to be doing, she'll be there with me!

Wishing you all a fabulous 2013 filled with love, happiness & lots of nice surprises, x

I catch the songs that make the whole world sing ...

 Playing my guitar this morning, working on a couple of the songs I've written recently, I began thinking about the process of songwriting ... & how obscure it is; at least for me!

I can't consciously grab hold of what happens when I write a song.  I never write in a formulaic way. I don't think about music theory when I'm writing.  I don't think about what 'should' work or 'shouldn't' work.  I just allow the song to emerge ...

And that's the process for me.  I can't force a song to be written.  I can't just sit down and decide to write a song.  The song will only be written when the time's right for the song; that's just how it feels.  

Earlier in my life, I was a prolific songwriter.  Songs came easily to me.  They weren't all necessarily good ones, but some were!  What, for me, was important though, was that I could write songs.  I could express myself, my thoughts and feelings through music and lyrics; and that was a powerful outlet for me.  And then, somewhere along the way, I seemed to lose that ability.  Fortunately, for whatever reason (& I could hazard a guess as some of those reasons!), I seem to have broken through my writers' block and have written 3 new songs over the last few months, which gives me great pleasure.  

And yet, to go back to the songwriting process, I'm not sure what I do to write a song.  It's feels more like a process of me having to capture what emerges through my fingers on the guitar or piano, or through my mouth when lyrics & / or a tune begin to emerge, or even what I sometimes hear vaguely playing somewhere in my mind.  I'm not consciously creating the song ... it feels more like it emerges through me & I have to catch it!!

Which isn't always easy.  Sometimes, I can 'hear' that tune in my head, but I somehow can't quite get it out through my voice or instrument.  And that can be really frustrating!  But that moment when I do stumble across, or find, the right notes or chords is amazing!  Such a sense of achievement; 'Wow! that's it!'  It can make me smile or even laugh out loud, when the song is suddenly out there!  I feel a sense of pride at this piece of music that I've created, that's come from me ... & yet I still don't fully understand where it comes from!

Does that matter though?  The final creation is what matters ... the song; no matter where it comes from, or how it gets there ...

My Life In A Photo ...

Whilst I was writing a song on my piano and guitar yesterday ('Liberty' the previous entry on here), my cat, Elsie, jumped up onto the top of my bookcase to watch ... after she'd helpfully walked up and down the piano keys a few times!

I got my camera and took a photo of her sitting up on the bookcase watching me.  It's somewhere she's only been once before ... at least whilst I've been in to see her!!  As I took the photo, I realised that it included most of the important things in my life.  I moved my guitar to make sure it was clearly in the frame ... and there it was; my life.

My gorgeous god-daughter in the photo.

My cat on the bookcase.

My books, symbolising my love of reading, my PhD and my interest in all things relating to therapy and the human condition.

My guitar and piano showing my love of music ... playing them, writing songs, singing, and listening to music; both recorded and live.

My laptop, on its home on my little stool - another part of my PhD, it also symbolises my love of writing and researching online.  It houses my collection of photos of friends, family and important memories.  And of course, it's my link to friends and to this blog.

And last, but not least, my wine rack ... & enjoying a glass or two of wine ...

                                                                                 
                                                                                           Which photo of yours, illustrates your life?

Melodious, Harmonious Empathic Connections

I've been sitting reflecting between clients today on a changed sense of self I'm currently experiencing.  I'm recognising it as an opening up, an expansion, and also a reconnection to a vital part of myself that 've suppressed over the last few years.

In my teens and early twenties, music was a huge and vital part of my life; a huge and vital part of mySelf.  Back then, when I didn't have a strong sense of Self, music gave me an identity and a way of expressing myself. I played guitar, a little bit of piano, sang, and wrote songs; and I loved it.

Leading up to, and during, my counselling training, I began to develop and connect with a much stronger sense of Self as an individual. Self awareness, personal development, psychological theories and therapeutic ways of being enveloped me. I found other ways of expressing myself. I became a 'Counsellor,' a 'Clinical Supervisor.' I became a 'PhD Student,' an 'Eating Disorders Specialist.' I became a 'Clinical Hypnotherapist' and 'NLP Practitioner.

But somewhere along this path, I forgot that I was also a 'Musician,' and a 'Songwriter.'

Sitting here today, I can see how blinkered I'd become, how focused my vision had become onto the therapeutic and eating disorders worlds. I loved, and do still love, that therapeutic world. I love connecting therapeutically with clients, exploring my own, and others' subjectivities, sharing deep empathic understandings and connections, being part of, and observing, the growth and change processes of others.

But, I also love music. And I think I've forgotten that at times.

For me, the connection that happens in the therapy room when working at depth with clients, is a similar sense of connection I feel when connecting with other musicians in a music room. And it's only as I write this now that I'm understanding that parallel. For me, connection is so important. That sense of retaining my own unique individuality (sense of Self), whilst connecting at a deep empathic level with others, is vital, and as both a musician and a therapeutic practitioner I'm lucky to experience that.

If possible, at times, the musical connection can feel even deeper than the therapeutic one. Playing an instrument or singing a song with other musicians, and hearing and feeling part of a shared whole (the song) is incredible. One retains one's individuality as the musician, but it truly is an experience where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It truly is empathic connection at the deepest level; embodied, through Self, through instruments, and through the music.

Embodiment has been a significant part of my PhD research. And I'm now really appreciating just what an embodied experience music is; both when playing an instrument or listening to live / recorded music. Music isn't just heard. It's felt. The bass line or drum beat that resonates through one's body. The melody or song lyric that causes the hairs on the back of one's neck or arms, to stand on end. The rhythm that your foot just can't help tapping along to. And when playing an instrument, the musician and instrument seem to merge. Watch musicians play, and just see how their body moves with, and around, their instrument. Observe their facial expressions as they lose themselves in the sound and the act of creating that sound. And when playing an instrument it can, at those times of empathic connection with the music, feel that the instrument truly is an extension of one's bodily self.

It's no wonder that for some musicians, their instrument becomes so precious to them.

I'm excited about reconnecting with my Musical Self. It feels as if my sense of Self has expanded, has opened up. My world is suddenly a bigger, much more expansive, expressive place. I think the 3 recent entries on here, and the song I've just written, are proof of that! An opening of my mind, and an expansion of my creativity, which I hope will also help me re-engage with my therapeutic and academic work in a much more expansive and creatively expressive way too.

  

Melodious, harmonious empathic connections, musically, therapeutically and academically are hopefully mine now ...

The Songwriter's Muse

Inspiration can strike in the oddest of places ... here I am, sitting in a motorway services somewhere on the M1 on a wet Sunday afternoon and a song has began to take shape in my head!

I used to be quite a prolific songwriter (not all good, but a few memorable ones!) but I've gotten out of the habit in recent years. However, after an enjoyable and extraordinary encounter this weekend, musical inspiration seems to have infiltrated my unconscious ... and I feel excited by it!

I never had a set way of writing songs. Sometimes the lyrics would come first, at other times the melody or the chords would introduce themselves to me as I played my guitar or piano. Sometimes they'd make themselves known to me simultaneously. I always had a storyline for a song ... a complete, contained little tale told in a few verses and a chorus, with sometimes a 'middle eight' or a reprieve thrown in for good measure.

Today though, I'm sitting here looking at the cars and lorries driving by on the M1 and the storyline has presented itself to me, visually initially, inside my head. I can see images in my mind ... almost like the video that would accompany the song. From the images I can see the atmosphere the song will contain, and from that atmosphere, I can hear, in my mind, the feel, shape and sound the song will take.

From that storyline and atmosphere, I'm writing potential lyrics, the story the song will sing. Of course, they'll change as they find their place in the music yet to be composed. Their structure and rhymes will change and adapt as they find their best fit amongst the melody, chords and rhythm.

My songs have always been inspired by personal experience; by something that's happened to me, been said to me, or that I've seen or read. They're not always an accurate representation of my personal experience and feelings, but sometimes adaptations, exaggerations, contractions, alternative realities. And I like the ambiguity that comes from knowing that others don't my truth; is the song my reality, or is it not?! It allows me to be emotionally present in the songs whilst not laying myself too vulnerably bare. (Similar in many ways to how I write this blog).

And I feel so excited! I can't wait to get home and sit down with my guitar or at my piano and allow the music to flow. Because for me, as a songwriter, that's what needs to happen; the song needs to flow. It feels like the song writes itself; like I'm just the channel through which the lyrics and music find life.

And that's such an exciting process! I remember the sense of achievement, awe, contentment and pride when a song has been born. Something that I've created and given life to.

And right now, I'm looking forward to feeling that unmistakeable feeling once again ... very soon!

And following from my previous entry ... I wonder if the people around me now can see any outward signs of my inner excitement as I manically type this up alongside the lyrics on my iPad!?!

  

... with special thanks to my brown eyed inspiration ;-)